It's A MILF Monday

yeah yeah yeah - so I have been slacking with this BLOG thing...I have been busy and I threw out my back...

People have been asking me how I manged to totally wreck my back and it seems very lame to me that if I tell them the truth I say "Cheering at a Kindergarten Soccer Game"...

Most of the time I would have loved to say "Well...you know" and giving them a "look" - so that way they have an image of a Chubby gal getting her freak on...

I usually tell the truth...because it would be a cruel, mean thing to leave an image of a Chubby gal getting her freak on in peoples brains...

As for the MILF part - I haven't budged...I have lost but I haven't gained...now that my back is feeling better I guess I will try and get back on my ellipitcal machine and get my ass in gear...

Going back to the Cheering at the Soccer Game...after finding the SoccerMILF shirt (and being dared by the Third Child to actually purchase and wear it...) I went in search of other SoccerMILF goodies - only not for me - for the Third Child...I decided to share them with ya'll

I am quite sure that BOTH of the above would MOST definately get us thrown out of the Jesus league

Now Silly Chick had mentioned that quite possibly I could use MILF to mean Mothers in Love with Faith if asked at the Jesus Soccer League what MILF stood for...but looky what I found....

I hate PBS....

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Scoring with Jesus

It is official – I am a soccer mom…

We signed the girls up this spring for Soccer – we had 3 different groups to choose from – we ended up in the Jesus league.

In addition to learning the fundamentals of the game of soccer the kids {and parents} read scripture and devotions during the practice and games. It is all run so each child has equal time on the playing field and everyone is to shout encouraging words to the refs, all the players and the coaches – even if they don’t know what the heck they are doing.

Now let me just say – I don’t attend church on a regular basis – both the Third Child and I were raised Catholic – the whole nine yards…even were married in a Catholic ceremony. While I don’t despise religion as a whole I am just not to enamored of it – I have my own views and theories that don’t mesh well with very many types of organized religion where Jesus is one of the major players.

However, when we got married I did agree that any children we have would be raised in the Catholic faith (faith I don’t have a problem with…the Catholic part…well) – so that has been the Third Child’s domain to take them to church and expose them to the wonders that is the Catholic faith…

To which I get these responses

TW: If I don’t go to church am I going to die?

PWG: I don’t want to go to church – It’s boring and the seats hurt my butt…

There really is no denying that PWG is my daughter…none at all…when she uttered that fateful line – I just looked at Third Child and said

“Can’t say anything because I agree with her – especially the butt hurtin’ part”

Anyway Third Child was quite surprised when I signed them up for the Jesus League because of my aversion to religion combined with everyday activities.

But it was $75 a kid and that included almost everything but the ball and the shoes – so really how can the bargain queen pass up a bargain like that…

I just wonder what would happen if I showed up in this…

With this on the back of my car….

Would we be thrown out of the Jesus league????

OF broken scales and re-runs....

Well I didn’t post on Friday because my scale is broken….

However I really don’t want to get rid of it because now half the time it tells me I weigh 149 lbs…I love the scale when it says that….the other half of the time it tells me I weigh a lot more….I hate it when it says that...

Third Child mentioned to me that it told him he weighs 175 lbs – he told me it lied…a big fat lie although he was very flattered the scale thought he weighed 175.

So the scale is broken and I don’t know what I weigh…

Our DVD player in our bedroom finally broke to - sooo hummm replace the DVD or the scale first???

It might be awhile till I get a new scale….

Damn you re-runs...damn you

Last night was a night of re-runs…which led to this conversation with the Third Child

TC: You know tonight is a re-run of “Desperate Housewives” {wink, wink}
ME: Yeah I know…
TC: You know what that means {wink, wink}
ME: What??
TC: You have time to bump uglies with me {wink, wink}

Gee….how can a girl resist a line like that…how romantic…

Bagels and French Fries

Well I got on the scale this morning and found that I hadn't lost a single pound...

BUT I am A-OK with that - after loosing 3 lbs last week I was just happy to keep it all off.

I forgot to mention last week - when I lost the 3 lbs - the MIDDLE number changed!!!

Those of us hefty gals that are trying to loose weight understand the importance of the middle # changing...

The first number for some of us might change...I know when I first started on my weight loss journey a few years ago the moment that first number changed was such a wonderful life affirming thing...

The last number - well that always fluctuates....

But the middle number... that is the sweet spot number...when that number changes for the better it makes you feel like you have accomplished something...doesn't matter that the last number has changed 9 times to get you to a new middle number...

To treat myself for not gaining any weight this week I treated myself...

I had a wonderfully delicious bagel this morning...and for lunch - wonderful, crispy french fries...

and yes I will be drinking my weight in water this weekend to flush it all out of my system....

Well Yes...I have lost some weight...

So I got out of my bed and peed (because urine does weigh something) and stepped on the scale…

I saw a number and thought to myself – “THAT can not be right”

So I got off – took out the battery – put it back in brushed off the bottom of the scale – and stepped back on….the same number popped up

WTF

So just then TW stumbled into my room – I had her come and stand on the scale

44

Hummm TW gained a pound?

So that means my number MUST be right!

I LOST THREE POUNDS!!

{Imagine a chubby girl doing the Robot}

So I am down 10 pounds

This has really driven my momentum…now I must keep it up….

What I did this week:

• really watched what I ate this week – no additional snacking
• made sure I got my water in everyday
• I even added some olive oil to some of my meals – something I had not been doing
• drank a few glasses of milk and had some yogurt this week
• exercised on my elliptical for 20 minutes 3X’s this week
• faithfully took my One-A-Day Weight Smart pill every night….

hack, hack, cough, cough...

Well - last week I was sick - which was why I scare - I didn't have the throwing up thing that seems to be going around but my stomach felt queasy and I couldn't eat for 2 days...

I did lose 4 lbs when all was said and done and when I got on the scale it was a beautiful site - I loved that number- however I knew it could not last....

So I didn't really weigh in on Friday - well I did and that is when I saw I lost 4 lbs...

So I got on Monday and I had gained the 4 lbs back - I knew it would happen....because once I felt good enough to eat I strapped on that feed bag...(OK not really I did restrain myself somewhat...) right now I am still down 7 lbs since the beginning of January - not bad

But I am back in the swing of things...drinking my water and eating right - got back on the elliptical on Monday and "plan" to do it tonight and tommorrow... I even went to the movies last night (Music & Lyrics...very amusing but really total chick flick) and only ate my smuggled in bag of 100 calorie popcorn (ok I lie - I also had 3 handfuls of movie popcorn...but I do have small hands)

I think I am going to make my goal for March 4 lbs...If I can loose 4 lbs by the end of March I'll be satisfied with myself...

My first goal first and formost was to lose the 15 lbs I put back on after my last WW round...so I am almost halfway there....

slow and steady wins the race...

Better Late than Never

So I totally went whompy on the Friday posting for my Weigh-in...

Not much changed..as in no loss - BUT no gain - that counts for something right?

So I am still at 7 lbs total lost...6 weeks at this = 7 Lbs lost - that is more than a pound a week...I'll take it...I am not greedy

TGIF!

I am sooooo ready for this week to be over...

This weekend the only thing on our calendar is a 3pm Birthday Party at McDonalds on Saturday that TW was invited ot...This is actually a biggie for us because it is the first time only ONE of the girls have been invited to a Birthday Party - those that have twins understand...singleton parents - wellllll? Still trying to decide who gets the pleasure of going to said party - either myself or the Third Child...It might wind up with best 2 out of 3 Quarter toss...

On to better things - the FUTURE MILF WEIGH-IN

(drumroll please)

I lost 1 lb this week

I'll take it - considering I drank half my weight in wine on Superbowl Sunday I wasn't expecting to loose anything

So that brings to total to 7 lbs

Apparently WW online liked that and gave me the following food for thought...

WAY TO GO! Congratulations for losing weight this week. We hope you're thrilled with the result. Here's a quote by Aristotle that we thought might strike a chord with you: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

Keep practicing your excellence and have a great week.

There's a New Sheriff in town...

and her name is FLO...as in Aunt Flo...

needless to say I was a raving, crampy bitch last night...and while she hasn't begun her "journey" yet the winds have changed in the House of Chaos...

The girls and dear hubby are cowering behind a lead shield throwing candy coated Hersey kisses at me while I stalk them like some Godzilla-like creature...

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG

But this morning - I am sitting here with my 7-11 ENERGY Coffee and just trying to mellow....

Sooooooo it's FRIDAY and that means another weigh-in for the Future MILF Brigade...

I lost 1 POUND!!!!

So that brings the total lost the first month to SIX POUNDS!!!

I am happy with that - especially since Aunt Flo sure likes to carry around extra water when she is comin' around

My Milkshake brings all the Boys to the Yard....

hummm – thanks to Lotta I had an interesting read over at Under The Mad Hat I think though that the ilk of what us we aspire to be FUTURE MILF's is exactly what The Mad Hat sort of pointed out - she mentioned that obviously we were a MILF to someone because we would not be Mommies if someone hadn't F'd Us...and while yes i agree - to my husband I am one sexy MILF...

For many of us we don’t aspire to be a Size 6 – I have no aspirations of that because quite frankly I have never been a size 6…I went right from the largest junior’s size (odd numbers…no 6) I could find into “Womens World”.

To me MILF takes on a lot of feelings…and words alone can’t express feelings…

To me being a FUTURE MILF is taking responsibility for MY life…putting ME first when it comes to my health and well-being.

When I got married I weighed 165 lbs…can I just tell you that is the lowest I have ever been in my adult life…I spent most of my high school life weighing over 200 lbs…I had friends but boyfriends were few and far between…before my senior year I lost about 50 lbs…I started my senior year weighing about 165-170…while not exactly skinny-minny and still outweighing most of my friends by a good 20-30 lbs I got noticed…for once in my life I had boys noticing me…Imagine the boost in my self-esteem…I wasn’t a Size 6.

I specifically choose a college where no one else from my high school was going…WHY? So I could effectively re-invent myself – I could be the outgoing party girl if I wanted to…and guess what I had the time of my life – I would not trade my experiences (well there are a few I would) for anything. Was I skinny…nope….was I a size 6 nope…but I FELT GOOD, WONDERFUL and had great SELF-ESTEEM.

After getting married and having kids (you don’t even want to know what twins do to your body – it ain’t a pretty picture) weight crept back on and while I have a very dear husband who loves me no matter what and I will always be a MILF to him…that doesn’t matter if you fall out of love with yourself…you lose some of that self-esteem because the body you see in the mirror isn’t that same one you saw 10 years ago…

Now I am not deluding myself – I don’t expect to have the same body I did 10 years ago…My skin is stretched in places and I have stretch marks…but to me for every lb. I lose is a victory to myself…a victory showing that I am starting to LOVE myself again – that I am putting myself first…with every lb. I lose I gain back a little more self esteem that I’ve slowly lost over the past few years…

So I guess to me I don’t care who would like to F’ me…I am in this to be a FUTURE MILF that I would Like to F*@# :)

Friday Future MILF Update

Go me...it's my birthday (ok not really)

but I lost ANOTHER POUND!!!

so for those of you counting at home that is 5 lbs lost so far - if I was at a meeting I would get one of those Red Bookmark things....but this is all the WW site gave me

That's Ok I'll take it :)

A Friday Future MILF Quickie

Don't have much time to write - but it is Friday and time for another Future MILF check-in

Goal for this week - Exercise at least twice....
Meet Goal? Hella No....

BUT, I did lose another pound....

So for those who are counting....

Total weight loss.... 3 lbs

A HO by any other name

Lotta gave a challenge…a challenge to give her little friend Bingalina
a food ho playmate…

Someone who is a slave to food….someone who can’t help herself….someone who would probably hock one of her children for a delicious, scrumptious Cadbury Crème Egg….

I thought long and hard….and hard and long…and long and hard (hold on that is another entry about my other ho….)

Anyway I would like to introduce to the world….

IMA DOESN’T COUNT

who are guided by her three Hellish fairy winged friends – BITE, LICK and TASTE (which BTW….learn from my experience and DO NOT put “bite lick and taste” in Google image search….ohhhhhhh I need some bleach for my eyeballs)

You know after quite a number of years knowing about the Weight Watcher Way…I HAVE changed my eating habits…I eat whole grains…I buy the more expensive spaghetti sauces and soups because they have less fat and more fiber…

But somewhere deep inside me is little IMA….who is prodded along by her little friends…who whisper in her ear…”go ahead just take a BITE…” – “it won’t hurt to have a small LICK” – “a little TASTE, what can it hurt?” – IMA gets scared – she tried her best to resist…but there is only one of her and three of them….

So IMA gives in…and then tries to fool herself - it was only a BITE, a simple LICK, a small TASTE…so IMA DOESN’T COUNT

But you know….it does…sure a bit of a brownie every now and then is OK….but 4 bites within an hour….IMA ate the damn brownie….

So IMA is going to try and resist her little Hell fairies – Bite, Lick and Taste…

But all bets are off if Peter Rabbit comes hopping down the bunny trail with a basket of Crème Eggs….

WEEK ONE - Friday Weigh-in

ok ok ok - so it isn't Friday - but thanks to Virginia lawmakers I had Friday off from work - Thank ye old Confederate Generals....Lee and Jackson - thanks to you I get a 4 day weekend...ba ha ha ha

Anyway....I lost TWO POUNDS...which when I went and logged it on WW on-line I lost nothing - because remember I Lied to Weight Watchers

Oh well - two pounds is two pounds and I will happily take it - last week I focused on just pacing myself and getting back into making the right choices as far as eating goes and the whole point system...I did pretty good with evening meals - actually cooked something other then Spagetti

So this week I plan on adding in exercise...now I am not going to say I will exercise every day because I know myself...but at least twice this coming week I will do something - be it go for a walk around the neighborhood for a half an hour or actually getting on my eliptical machine that is taking up a corner of my rec room - whispering "Oh Baby...Ride me...Ride me" {hold on that may not be the elipitcal machine whispering....}

So here is to two more lbs!!!!!!