Thursday, December 21, 2006

seriously F-me....

and I am not talking to my husband here....

I am a big ol' computer LOSER to the n'th degree...

I know S*#T about computers so I ask myself "Self, why did you start a blog?"

answer is I don't really know...to get some frustration out...

well I have not a clue what HTML is - if I can cut, paste, copy and adjust I can do alright...so what did I do...

I added like 10 more websites to my sidebar...

I should have stopped there...but I didn't

I decided to see what othe things Blogger had to offer...

OH LOOK - a different looking template - why sure it will keep everything I just spent the past hour imputting - right...

NOPE - no f'n way....

so until I have another hour to fix my links...enjoy the basic Blogger ones

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

a little of this and a dash of that

ahhh....Christmas is almost here....the lights are up - the presents are bought - some are even wrapped and my house is starting to get tidy....

My kids are five so this is the perfect age for them to have adoration of all things Santa...

However this morning TW comes running into my room all bright eyed and bushy tailed, her hair looking like she got a late night vists from some gnawing rats...she was just so freakin excited and she was jumping up and down, clapping her hands in glee and shouting.....

JENNA IS COMING....JENNA IS COMING

and before you even ask - I might be mean but I didn't tell my girls that Santa had a sex change and is now going by the name Jenna Clause...

No Jenna is a very sweet college student that happens to work at my daughters daycare...now let me preface this by saying the Third child and I don't get a chance to go out very often - we don't have family (ahem AKA FREE babysitters) around - so when we do go out we have to save up for it - sort of like I guess Christmas...

So the Third Childs work party is tonight and of course last week he asked if WE could find a babysitter
  • Ok Tanget Time....why is it men always seem to say WE...they don't really mean it - what they really mean is YOU...so why say WE....- I mean they sit there and say "Why don't WE plan to go out next week" - what they are really saying is "Hey I have an idea why don't WE go out - so that means you make all the plans, even though it is not your idea to go out and make sure you find a babysitter and oh yeah don't forget to remind me about OUR plans 50 bajillion times because I have the attention span of a gnat" .... do they add up all these supposed WE's in their little head - so when you are in the middle of an argument for the 50th time about he never makes plans he can whip out - "I make plans for US all the time....don't you remember when WE planned...."
anyway so I asked Jenna and lo and behold she is done with classes and she could babysit - told the girls and they are super excited

I asked TW who she is more excited about Jenna or Santa Clause.....her response - Jenna

Probably because Santa comes more often then Babysitters.... and he is a hell of a lot cheaper on the pocketbook then paying for 5 hours of babysitting...

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A Christmas Miracle???

A recent conversation with TW

TW: Mommy what do you want for Christmas
ME: Peace from my children
TW: Sorry Santa can't do that kind of magic...

so true...so true....

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Girls and their muffies....

I started a bad habit...I have already introduced my girls to the glorious wonder that is a coffee shop - and I am not talking your run of the mill hole-in-the-wall .95 cents a cup coffee place...

I am talking about your overexposed, wallet bulging places...

My favorites - Starbucks (or Fourbucks as my astute friend Liz calls it) and Panera...

Being a hunting widow for most Saturdays in the fall and the spring I have found I function much better with a cup of coffee in the morning...but alas I lack the coffee making gene so I must go someplace and fork over an hours worth of salary to make me happy and yes it does make me happy and my girls know it...I was in line at Starbucks one day and PWG told the lady behind us "I don't know what is in the cup but it helps my mommy not yell as much" - I didn't know whether to be horrified or proud that she has such a great power of perception.


Anyway since I have PWG and TW tagging along every Saturday morning I sort of have to feed them and buy them some sort of liquid norishment...or else they would stand there and whine totally destroying the nirvana that my hot cup of Chai Tea or flavor of the month latte gives me

At Starbucks it is easy you have your choice of muffin, muffin, muffin and if you are lucky MAYBE a cheese danish...Blueberry muffin seems to be the food of choice when we partake of Starbucks

Now Panera is a whole other story because thier counter is FILLED with all sorts of breakfastesty goodness - one of which happens to be something called a muffie...yes a muffie - it is the Preppy Nicole Richie like cousin of your standard muffin...a small round flat disk of a muffin - a muffin on a diet I suppose - for those Seinfield fans...akin to the famous Muffin top....

Anyway PWG is enamored of the muffie - especially the Chocolate Chip one...(go figure a 5 year old that gets chocolate for breakfast - what's not to like) - so the other day as we are on our way out of town we stop at Panera to get some breakfast.

TW got a blueberry muffin (she is on some weird blueberry muffin kick lately) and PWG got a Chocolate Chip Muffie - I got a bagel with cream cheese because some old couple got the last Spinach and Articoke Baked Egg Souffle (I spent most of the time shooting eye daggers their way...because the S&A is da' bomb) ...now of course halfway through our meal both girls announced they had to go potty (naturally....) so we gathered everything up and went to the potty...and when we were done we all climbed in the car and I told them they could finish up eating while we were driving...

Then the conversation got very interesting...

PWG: I love Muffies - they taste so good

TW: Is your muffie soft?

PWG: Yep - you want a taste of my muffie

TW: Sure (takes a bite) - oh PWG I love your muffie

PWG: I love my muffie too...maybe next time you can get a muffie and I can eat some

TW: OK we will both get muffies so we can eat each others muffies

at the last comment I burst out laughing...so hard that i had tears streaming down my face...

I am a horrible, horrible mother....I kept thinking to myself...hey if they could bottle that conversation and have it in a bar about 15 years from now they would NEVER have to buy themselves another drink...

Monday, December 11, 2006

Ahh yes the picture....


The guilded $89 birthday card....

Monday, December 04, 2006

Drowning in the Gene Pool

My family is an odd one...I am sure many families have their weird Uncle Joe or thier crazy Aunt Sue...I just feel like sometimes my family has an overabundance of weirdos.

It may not be that the people themselves are weird...but they just do weird things.

Ok my great uncle who spent the 80's as a Boy George impersonator is weird...

This past Thanksgiving I spent time at my parents house with my sister and my Aunt and Uncle (mothers brother)...while there I learned my mother who can barely figure out how to work a cordless phone is appearently a TIVO savant - man those fingers were flying over that remote...because gosh forbid she doesn't TIVO all the Walker, Texas Ranger episodes in any given day the world might just implode.

Now my mom is holding her own...but looking down the line to where she is headed, i.e. my grandmother, the outlook isn't good...

While sitting around Thanksgiving night my aunt asked if I had seen my mothers birthday card from my grandmother...nope I hadn't...so she sent my uncle into the guestroom to get it...

Now my mother turned 60 this year - a big birthday...every year my grandmother gives all her kids the same thing for thier birthdays - a check for $100 - but not for my mothers 60th...oh no

My mother got a check for $11 - now you may ask "what happened to the other $89" of her $100 Birthday Check

My uncle appeared in the doorway with a piece of foam board about 3ft high by about 1.5 ft wide....in the middle was a picture of my mother with the wording Happy Birthday...the 60 was done up very nicely in the form of gold Sacagawea $1 coins...but oh no that wasn't all - the whole thing was framed in the gold coins...a total of 89 in all...SUPERGLUED to the foam board...

As soon as I can get the picture off my camera I promise I will post it - because a card such as this is just to yummy to keep all to myself...

I told my mother we should bring it with us when we went shopping on Black Friday...surely Target would be happy to accept a 4.5 square foot foam board worth $89 as payment?