Thursday, April 24, 2008

Living with a Hunter - Take 2

I swear....

So DH was going Turkey hunting today...so he had all his stuff out in the garage...which he leaves out in open site...

What does PWG go and do...she "releases" all the turkey decoys from the bag...Appearently she felt they couldn't breath so she removed them all from the bag and situated them all around the garage...

Nothing scares you like opening up your garage door to a gaggle of turkeys.

OH but it gets better...

SO I took TW to run an errand and when we get back PWG and TC are doing something in the garden and PWG has something in her hand...

she puts it to her lips and blows and a horrendous sounds comes out

I soon learn it is a deer rutting call

TW is all over it so PWG gives it to her and says

"Blow it and I'll pretend I am a deer and daddy can shoot me"

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

So TW blows it - PWG is on our neighbors lawn crawling around yelling "Shoot me Daddy...shoot me"...

to which after being egged on for a minute or two TC points at her and says "Bang"

PWG looks at him as says "You missed me"

ahhh just like reality....

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

So many things swirling in my head….

So this weekend I went to a convention for Mothers of Multiples…

Do you know what happens when 200 women are free from their kids and husbands for greater than a few hours…

MAYHEM…well old haggard mother mayhem

I do have to say Friday night was the most fun I have had in ages…it totally took me back to my college days…dancing on the floor with all my girlfriends…having drinks confiscated by hotel management (note if you bring a drink in from the “outside” dump it into a hotel glass – don’t keep drinking it out of a huge red plastic cup).

There was something in there that involved me, a stage, my friend R, light up electric flame candles in my bra and I do believe I did grab my crotch….oh yeah I was also singing along to “Like a Virgin”…. There was some talk of R and I recreating the Madonna/Brittney MTV kiss but we restrained ourselves…I think the crotch grabbing was enough…Like I said Total MOMMY Mayhem…it was {unfortunately} caught on tape for all of eternity…I so need a copy of the tape because in 8 or so years when my girls start yelling that I am uncool or don’t know how to have fun I think their punishment will be to watch their mother grab her crotch on stage while her breasts are glowing…

However, later that evening my friend Deb did the most hysterical interpretive dance to Ozzy’s Crazy Train I have ever seen…It was sort of like if Animal from the Muppets had gotten Tasered….or for those of you who have had the pleasure of seeing Barnyard…she was totally Wild Mike. I swear I might of have leaked a little I was laughing so hard….the pinnacle of the dance involved her throwing herself down on the stage and doing something she calls “Fish out of Water”…now let me tell you that Deb is probably all of 4’10” and has some HUGE mammeries on her…. So there she is flopping all around the stage….That too was recorded on tape for all of eternity.

But it gets so much better because at some point someone decided we Mommies must drink and dance some more…so what did we do – we went to a bar – there were about 10 of us and we had a great time – when we arrived at said bar the dance floor was empty – but not for long….I dare say we brought the party because about 15 minutes after we all arrived that dance floor was packed.

I somehow made it back to the hotel…and today Wed. is the first day I feel normal again…when I woke up on Saturday morning I felt like I had swallowed a sock and the first words out of my mouth was “I will never do that again”…

Ummm yeah only 365 more days till the next convention – YEEE HAAAAA

********************************************************************
In other news....PWG was voted Most Caring in her class...I am so proud

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I am running away...

and I may never come back...

This weekend is my annual Mothers of Multiples convention...it is a regional convention of which about 20 or so clubs gather for a weekend...

Imagine if you will about 200+ mothers of twins, triplets OR MORE all in one place....

There better be some damn nice mattresses and some free flowing alcohol....cause 48 hours aways from the kids...all anyone wants to do is sleep and drink...seminars be damned...

I have to say, lately, being a mom sort of sucks...

I mean you are sort of prepared for the non-sleep, spit-up, messy diaper period that is babyhood...everyone warns of the "terrible twos" but no one to date warned me about the

SUCKTASTIC SIXES (and SEVENS)

seriously my girls are driving me nuts....the 'tude is really off the scale...with all the "I don't have to do what you say"... the "I don't wanta's"...the whiney "but everyone else gets to..." and then the gimme's....I swear ask them to do a simple task and the response is "Whatcha' going to give me"

Add in asking them to do the same thing 101 different times - only to wind up doing it yourself...

Seems I am not alone either - in a discussion with my PIM's (Pyscho Internet Moms) who all have children about the same age as mine are dealing with some of the same issues...

so what does that do to a person - turns them into a very yelly mom...

and I don't like being a yelly mom

My co-worker and I were discussing our kid problems and she told me she was on strike...YEP on strike - seems this past Monday she had had enough and decided to go on strike - that she was tired of telling her kids time and time again to do something or remind them of something only to not have it done...HOWEVER...she did not get yelly...oh no - she said in her house growing up she and her sister didn't really pay attention when her mom yelled at them....but when her mom cried that is when they knew her mom meant business...so she in effect channeled her mom and cried...and cried and told her kids she was on strike...

I asked a friend with older twins why no one warns you about the Sucktastic Sixes...she said it is because they are to busy dealing with the Egotistical Eights to warn those behind them...

joy...something to look forward to

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Well I did it....

I FINALLY got a few things listed in my Etsy shop - Craftypleasures

and I got my first sale too :) - thanks a bunch Gretchen (of GretchenCrafts )

It will be slow growing over the next two weeks as I put some finishing touches on a few things in progress and currently a friend of mine has most of my cards and giftables with her as she is participating in a craft fair this week and asked if I wanted her to try and sell some of my stuff - ummm heck yeah!!!

I am happy to take custom orders - so if you see something you like but it is already sold...or you need something specific just let me know....

Monday, April 14, 2008

when your SO is a hunter....

When I first meet TC I had no idea of the sheer magnitude of his love for hunting...part of it might have been the ban against firearms in dorm rooms...

As we started getting serious I got a peek into the madness that is hunting...

Now I must confess I did take a shooting class in college...which I took with 4 of my sorority sisters...(after which the teacher made a ruling stating no more than 2 sorority sisters per any one of his classes...I have to admit that was a wise decision on his part cause 5 giggly girls with firearms is a bit of a hazard...) - when TC and I were living in sin he joined a shooting club and on occassion I went with him...

oh yeah the rush of something long and hard in your hands...anyway I digress....

Anyway I soon learned my scheduale would be arranged around hunting seasons...deer, turkey, other small rodent like creatures...and for the most part I don't mind...

The thing is now that we have Uber-cable and now have access to 27 different outdoor and hunting type channels TC can fuel his hunting madness basically 24/7...and that is rubbing off on the girls...

The other day I came home to TC and the girls sitting watching TV...

Spongebob - Nope
Hannah Montanta - Nope
iCarly - Nope

but rather some hunting show where they were going after bears....

so the guy has this poor bear lined up in his sites and I hear a little voice saying "Shoot...shoot....shoot" and then the poor bear falls to the ground and I hear the same voice saying "Yeahhhhhhh"

I look over and see PWG pumping her little fists in the air

Seriously....I asked her if she understood the poor bear was dead...she looks at me with those blue eyes and says "no they didn't Daddy told me it's all pretend"

I just didn't say a word....
BTW - if you have ever had reason to come across a "Hunter Dan" doll (see picture above) TC bares a freaky resemblance to the doll - goatee and all...to wit we currently have 2 Hunter Dan dolls in our midst...they usually hang out with the Barbies (and never turn thier backs on Ken {wink, wink}) The one of the best scenes ever was PWG with about 6 NAKED barbies all fanned out in a semi circle...while she "walked" a Hunter Dan doll around them...I asked "What are you doing" - her response "He's looking for a girlfriend"

****************************************************************
Hunting conversation from the dinner table

PWG: Daddy, have you ever killed a rabbit?
TC: Yep
PWG: what about a squirral?
TC: Yep
PWG: Yeah Mommy's killed one too...she hit it with the car and then said "Oh Crap"

Friday, April 11, 2008

Karma's a Bitch

Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work I heard commotion downstairs…

TC was yelling raising his voice at PWG.

I go downstairs and ask what all the fuss was about

TC: I gave PWG a pair of socks like a minute ago and now she can’t find them.
ME: and
TC: How do you loose a pair of socks in a minute’s time?
ME: She’s six…what do you expect…she has the attention span of a goldfish.
TC: She really needs to pay attention.
ME: whatever.... remember one day you'll be old and decript and forget where you put things

Fast forward to last night…after dinner TC got changed so he could do some yardwork…he came downstairs with a pair of socks in his hand {you know where this is going right?} I was enjoying being read to by TW who was telling me all about the making of Mt Rushmore.

About 2 minutes later out of the corner of my eye I see TC roaming about the downstairs

ME: Whatcha doing?
TC: {grumble, grumble} Looking for my socks
ME: Didn’t you JUST have them a minute ago
TC: {grumble, grumble} yes
ME: like daughter, like old father

Don't forget to play along to LAST Fridays Fun - there are still a few quotes that haven't been guessed...and if you put movie quotes in your blog let me know and I will link ya up :)

Monday, April 07, 2008

and what did Heather win...

THIS will soon be on its way to Heather....




From left to right...
  • A cute decorated wooden box...perfect to brighten up a desk - use it to hold pens, pencils, Hershey Chocolate sticks...
  • A 7 x 4 decorated journal...the front quote is one of my all time favorites "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans" - a cute place to jot down things you want to remember
  • A chipboard coaster calendar (yes I am aware it is already April) - one side has space for a 3x3 picture - a nice way to brighten a desk
  • A set of 6 Birthday cards...you can NEVER have too many birthday cards...what i like baout this pack is they are universal...great for a man, woman or a child...you can see a little bit better picture of all the cards by clicking HERE

I am estimating a grand opening of my Etsy store hopefully by next Monday....



Friday, April 04, 2008

And the candy goes to.....

the Random Number Generator choose number 6...

and that is....
HEATHER

who said...
Who wouldn't want some of your fabulous craftiness?!
I like
Sarah and the Goon Squad
Oh The Joys
Iowa Avenue

YEAHHHHHHHHH

Stay tuned I'll be posting a picture later this weekend so EVERYONE can see what Heather won :)

Some Friday Fun!!!

Need to waste some time this Friday.... then Movie Quote Madness is for you....

I got this from Death Wore a Feathered Mullet - who got it from someone else...

But anyway here are the rules


  • Leave your guesses in the comments.
  • No Googling or using IMDB search functions. Don’t cheat!
  • Know-it-alls, limit your guesses to three movies. Save some for others!

And begin....

  • Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says that if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants get peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.

  • I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.

  • Dude that chick's a MILF! {AMERICAN PIE by Lisa Lu }

  • I was jealous. I was so jealous of you I couldn't see straight! You did everything you said you were going to do, everything! And your talent, this incredible talent! I can't even yodel! {BEACHES by Amanda}

  • Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Furburgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers. (BTW I watched this movie AGAIN last night...god I love this movie....)

  • Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway? (SHREK - guessed by TREE )

  • The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity. {KNOCKED UP by Amanda}

  • Remember my dear, I can smell a lie like a fart in a car.

  • God had cursed me I think. The last guy I had sex with killed himself the next day. I'm failing math. I was supposed to be cheerleading captain... {HEATHERS by Lisa Lu}

  • Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad... {INDEPENDANCE DAY by Lisa Lu}

  • You can milk just about anything with nipples. {MEET THE PARENTS by Amanda}

  • She hasn't answered your calls, she didn't respond to any of your letters, she didn't respond to the candygram. God only knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. 'Cause she didn't keep it, and I know you're not raising the goddamn thing. I think it's very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you anymore.

  • You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.

  • Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies. (SIXTEEN CANDLES guess by TREE )

  • Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection? {BREAKFAST CLUB by Amanda}

and know you know what type of movies I like...

Thursday, April 03, 2008

the DREAM is dying a slow death....

Remember my post about my soon to be orgasmic new kitchen....My New Porn

wellllll....maybe not so orgasmic...

I have spent the past week crunching numbers and figuring out if we can really do what we want to do...basically adding on a big addtion to the back of the house with a brand new big pantry/laundry room and huge new kitchen...the answer is yes...but with a huge problem

We could do what we wanted but it would leave us very little wiggle room in our budget to do anything else for the next 15 years or so....like going on a nice vacation every once in a while...or being able to afford a newer car in a year or two...we would in effect be house poor...

So last night TC and I sat down and talked about revamping our plan...oh don't get me wrong I'll still get a new kitchen...only it won't be as big - with a big huge island and TC won't get his man room....

So the new plan is something like this -

We would have the money to have a nice kitchen - albeit with the same floor plan but with the appliances I really want and the nice Armstrong flooring we really love and the to die for granite countertops....

We would have the money to convert the idea of a screen porch into a 3 -seasons room that would give us extra living space and a room for TC Poker nights with the guys...

We would have the money to buy really nice vinyl replacement windows that will last for a lot longer than "budget" replacement windows and maybe even afford the hot-diggidy-bomb Pella - with the blinds inside- windows for our bay window...

We would have the money to really make our Bonus/Rec room a lot nicer - big screen TV with surround sound, big plush lounging sofa, nice storage cabinets.

and there might even be a little money in the budget for a tummy tuck for me....

I especially like the last part...

***Don't forget to post a comment on my BLOG CANDY post

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

BLOG CANDY!!!!

Who wants some sweet treats….

Some of you may know and others may not…but I tend to be a little crafty…Scrapbooking and stamping is my hobby. I really enjoy making things – family scrapbooks, handcrafted cards, small giftables, etc…I like to think I do a pretty darn good job and at least a few people think so as well because they actually buy some of my items. I have a separate crafting blog set up – Stamptopia. However it gets neglected far more than this one.

I am actually in the process of setting up an Etsy store called CRAFTY PLEASURES …I am hoping that I will have a few items in my new shop by early next week…

What does this have to do with my BLOG CANDY?

Because one lucky person is going to get a sampling of items that will be featured in my shop!!!!

Yes yes shameless self promotion of me and my new shop…

So what do you have to do to get in on the action…

Leave a comment

But just don’t leave any comment…I am always on the lookout for a fun, new blog to read…so leave me a comment and let me know what your favorite blog to waste time …and don’t try to suck up and say mine :)

I will use the RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR on Friday at about noon EST to determine who the winner of my BLOG CANDY is - and post it here :)

*Note if you post as Anonymous please put your first name or initials in with your comment…if an anonymous wins we’ll find a way to get in contact :)

Good luck to all

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

BLOG CANDY!!!!!!

OK all....I am getting close to 10K views...know I know I check my blog out a lot but it must mean that someone other than myself is viewing a glimpse into my life...

Here is the deal...tomorrow I will be telling you all about the BLOG CANDY I will be giving away...what will you have to do...well I will tell you tomorrow :)

Delving Deeper into Mommydom

So last night while TW was digging through her notebook she told me she had something for me…

Uhh OK

And so she handed me a note…

What did said note say.

Deer Mom and Dad.

Please let me git my eers pirced. Everyone else has theer eers pirced.

Oh yes – it has begun…

EVERYBODY ELSE HAS….

Once again I figured we had some time before the gimmees and wants and the EVERYBODY ELSE GETS TO…came on strong…

But I was wrong and confronted full face last night…all written up in 1st grade grammar and writing.

My response was “well I am sure not EVERYONE has their ears pierced”

To which TW responded…”Oh yes – Riley, Laura, Katie, Jenna all have their ears pierced”

And I said “Well PWG doesn’t have her ears pierced” {to which PWG girl piped up and stated she didn’t want her ears pierced}

And in response I got “PWG doesn’t count – she isn’t included with EVERYONE – out of the mouth of babes…

So of course I responded with the question that is encoded in every mommies DNA

“If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you”

And TW with her smark-alec self said “No – that would be stupid – what does that have to do with getting my ears pierced”

Ummmm nothing….

Anyway the answer was NO…I told her maybe in a few years…but for now I have enough to deal with and quite frankly I don’t think someone who can’t even remember to flush the toilet 60% of the time is ready for the responsibility of pierced ears…