Thursday, March 30, 2006

Losers in Love

So my hubby and I have a date this Friday and I have been e-mailing him places for us to go and eat...

so in my e-mails I have been writing BTW this and that at the end...

finally after the 3 or 4th e-mail he emails me - what does BTW mean...

I married someone who is as big a loser as myself...

this is exactly why we still have dial-up...

BTW - we have also been having an arguement over who the horse in Dave the Barbarian sounds like....(btw according to - it is Christopher Walken - I stand victorious!!!!)

yes it is a wonder freaks like us find each other...

Short and sweet

Managed to spend the whole winter without getting sick and BAM!!! wound up with the stomach flu for the past 2 days - not a pretty picture...

Just one question after lounging in bed for 2 days...

Does Maury ever have a show that doesn't include
  • Who's my baby's daddy (well maybe if you kept your legs shut you wouldn't have to ask that question)
  • Chicks with dicks

at least people didn't get nude on Springer....

Friday, March 24, 2006

Of Pigmy Goats and Tampons

My old self…

Yesterday I got an e-mail from a college friend - the e-mail was nice and basically stated she had gotten married and knocked-up. This led me to call another college friend whom I adore. I count myself lucky to have a few friends in this world that I can go months without speaking to and then pick up the phone and chat away like the last time we saw each other was yesterday…

This of course got us to reminiscing about old college times…ah yes so long ago…

After I got off the phone with her I started reflecting on my life while I was in college and the “OLD” me…the “PRE-MOMMY” me…the “BEFORE MORTGAGE” me…

If you don’t mind I would like to reflect for a moment

The old me...

  • Was the jello sucking champion of York College
  • Once baby-sat a pigmy goat some Frat boys stole as a prank
  • Learned if you down pink jello-shots…then do 2 beer bongs it will earn you the nickname of Pukey Pukster
  • Got a black eye while skinny-dipping
  • Dated a boy nicknamed “Yakster”
  • Had “intimate moments” in an A/V closet
  • Had an unusual nickname (other than Pukey Pukster)
  • Convinced my boyfriend (now husband) to dress up as a huge giant orange Carrot
  • Had to listen to said boyfriend mutter all night “I am not a damned pumpkin”
  • Accidentally ran over some boys foot with my car
  • Had “intimate moments” in a closet behind a beer machine
  • Swore I would NEVER drive a minivan
  • Hold –on I am waiting for the laughter in my head to stop from the last thing I wrote
  • Lived in a haunted house
  • Ordered Long Island Ice Teas because they sounded cool
  • Learned if your roommate pukes on the radiator in the middle of winter you haul ass to get it cleaned up as soon as possible
  • Got stuck to the sticky nasty floor of a frat house
  • Overheard some boy trying to explain to a Dr. just how and why he ended up with a beer cap stuck in his throat (How – swallowed it Why – a dare)
  • Once did chew with half a college baseball team
  • Learned that First love and True Love are not one in the same
  • Rode the PATH train from New York to Jersey City at 2am
  • Once found a mushroom growing between the tile cracks in a frat boys bathroom
  • Spent the night in the All-Boys dorm
  • Never had to explain to a 4 year old what a tampon is

I look back and think – why did I ever let my old me go?

Then I get to the bottom of my list…

And then I am ok with letting my old self go…I would much rather talk tampons with a 4 year old then wrangle a pigmy goat any day…

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Fiber, Fat and Nipples?...Oh My!

Diet – did someone say diet and during Girl Scout cookie time no less…

OK last year I finally took a good long look at a picture of me and I was floored about how large I had become…I was entering Shamu territory and was starting to look bigger than I was when I was 34 weeks pregnant with twins and that is BIG.

So I gathered up my courage and my checkbook and joined Weight Watchers and went faithfully almost every Saturday morning to weigh myself in front of virtual strangers and talk with people who understood the great and mysterious WW language of points, fiber and fat grams, oh my.

In a years time I lost 40 lbs and 2 sizes – I was happy and thrilled and then I stopped going…thinking I can do this on my own…right….sure….

I can say that only 5 lbs have crept back up on me – but that is 5 lbs to many…add on to the fact that I am still overweight – not a good thing because 5 easily becomes 10 becomes 15 – well you get the picture.

I belong to a club for parents of multiples, just recently a few of us decided to embark on our own “Biggest Losers” plan of action – everyone ponied up $10 and at the end of 12 weeks whoever has lost the highest % of weight gets the money – and it isn’t chump change either – we are talking over $150.

Yes we were all aware it is the middle of Girl Scout Cookie season – in fact it was the topic of a posting on our little Yahoo Group…for those that might be interested

Lemon Coolers 5 cookies = 3 points
Do-si-dos 3 cookies = 4 points
Thin Mints 4 cookies = 3 points
Tagalongs 2 cookies = 3 points
Cafe Cookies 5 cookies = 3 points
Samoas 2 cookies = 4 points
Trefoils 4 cookies = 3 points
All Abouts 2 cookies = 4 points

So what if my current “diet” consists of lettuce and Tagalongs – as long as I stay within my points I should loose some weight. Right?

The biggest thing with me is no matter how much weight I lose I will still have a belly – my flubber, my spare tire, my twin skin – a lovely chunk of midsection that will never go away without surgery...

I keep making a mental pact with myself that if I lose enough weight maybe, just maybe I’ll splurge and get a tummy tuck.
  • Tangent – BTW I absolutely adore watching Dr. 90210 on E! – for some strange reason this show absolutely fascinates me – obviously it fascinates other people or else it wouldn’t still be on TV. Before this show I never, ever thought of having a boob job – the idea of someone removing my nipples and then sewing them back on gives me the heebie jeebies – but through the wonder that is Dr. 90210 I have learned that if you have a tummy tuck they can actually insert the implants through the tummy incision – no nipple removing needed. Just an interesting little tidbit that will now be forever burned into your brain. When you bring it up at your next dinner party just remember to give me a mental thank-you.

OK back on track…what was I saying – oh yes if I ever lost enough I would consider a tummy tuck…in all reality this will never happen. Oh well it is nice to have dreams right.

Anyway wish me luck on my “diet” that $150 could go real far buying lettuce and Samoas

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Lord help me - the tooth fairy is broken

Well big news in our house - one of my daughters lost her first tooth...

Ok I digress Mommy pulled the loose tooth from her little mouth because I thought she would swallow it...and I ain't fishing for any tooth that gets swallowed KWIM.

So it was a very exciting night - I took pictures, I took video, we hooted and hollered and got all excited.

THEN...her sister started wailing...see this is the drawback of having twins - when something good or exciting happens to one the other gets her panties in a wad and throws a hissy-fit. So toothless wonder(TW) and I had to let the excitement die and I had to console pantie-wad girl (PWG) all while trying to come up with answers to questions I had no clue about...

PWG: When will my tooth come out
Me: When it is loose
PWG: When will it be loose
Me: I don't know
PWG: When mommy, when mommy, when mommy

It almost drove me to find that rusty pair of pliers in the garage...she finally quit asking when I dangled a very yummy Girl Scout cookie in front of her.

So of course back to the toothless wonder - so I ran upstairs and got her little tooth fairy tin that I had made with my crafty little hands just waiting for this particular mommy moment. We put the small little tooth in the tin and in it went under the pillow.

Everything went great - got the girls to bed - told them that as soon as they were asleep I would call the tooth fairy and let her know she had a pick-up - to which both were in awe that I actually possessed the Tooth Fairy's phone number - I told them that she didn't come in to take the tooth until all little girls and boys are asleep. So off they went to slumberland.

Tooth Fairy swooped in at about 11pm and exchanged the tiny tooth with a buck (which turns out is the going rate for a 1st tooth since mommy choose a tin that doesn't fit a quarter) and all was right with the world.

This morning - shouts of glee were heard as the TW opened up her tin and found her dollar, which she promptly inserted into her Reindeer money bank after showing it off to PWG. To which PWG threw yet another hissy fit...which caused me to turn around quickly and throw my back out.....

THE TOOTH FAIRY IS BROKEN... hurts like hell - so now I get to walk around like I am a constipated pregnant woman about ready to birth triplets until I can get an appointment with my chiropractor...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Just Blog it....

I decided to start my blog because many of my friends have thier own blogs and I enjoy reading them from time to time...if anything it makes me feel more normal. I also like to read other peoples blogs...especially people who are very shall I say different from doesn't make me feel like such a weirdo.

But the real question comes in to play of how exactly did blogging begin... I am in no means an expert on blogging having just picked this up the other day, but the internet makes me marvel at the advancement of technology.

A few years ago (ok more like 15 years ago) there was really no such thing as the 'net...(just a vision in Al Gore's head I guess) - 15 years ago I was in college and still looking up newspaper and magazine articles via microfilm (go ahead and ask any 20 year old if they know what microfilm is - all you will get is a blank stare) - anyhow there was in fact a very small beginning of the 'net - what people on my campus called "mudrooms" - this allowed you to chat with students at other colleges - I never did this but a few of my numerous roommates did...

and much like today...a few of them actually MET boys in the mudroom...and invited them to our house...*gasp* - I distinctly remembered the first boy that showed up on our doorstep - the poor boy was lily white and looked like he had just escaped from his parents basement after watching a Star Trek marathon for a month. Needless to say his visit was cut short by my roommate. But think about it - nowadays people log in all the time to find love, a soulmate, a bed buddy.

What does this have to do with blogging - I'm getting there...hold your panties...

Anyway from the mighty mudroom - as more and more people had their own personal computer and the college chat took a giant leap forward to become "THE 'NET" also came the invention of the Bulletin Boards and chat longer did someone have to bore thier friends and family about the marvels of toy trains - why they could go on-line and find a whole community that get their rocks off playing with little engines and steam cars. The weird guy who sat across from you in homeroom English can find a kindred soul halfway across the world that shares in his passion for toesucking...amazing isn't can justify to yourself that you aren't weird because there are other people out there JUST LIKE YOU!

Blogging is just another step past bulletin boards - with blogging you can say want you want, when you want and how you want...if no one cares or reads it so be it...but bloggin serves a useful purpose - it allows others and peek into your some cases it makes them feel just a little bit better to know there are far worse wackos out there then themselves...

Monday, March 20, 2006

A little this....a little that....

I guess I should write more of who and what I am all about.

I filled out my profile and it was very interesting to try and put who I am in such a small space - so I figured I would elaborate more here...

Wife - yes I am a wife - have been for about 8.5 years. I have been with my hubby going on 12+ years now... the way we met was very involved a college mixer, alcohol and bondange (note: if my mother is somehow reading this...we were fully clothed) - I might write about it one day, however if my daughters ever learn how to read I will change the posting to say simply "I met my dear husband at a wonderful church social"

Mother - I spoke of my daughters above - I am a mother of two very rambuncous almost 5 year old twin girls... There are many days I feel blessed that I was granted the opportunity to birth and raise twins...other days I feel like I did something to reaaaaaalllllly piss off the powers that be...and before anyone they are not identical...they are about as different as you can get and I marvel everyday at the power of nature vs nurture. In all actuality I am sure a majority of my postings will center around frick and frack

Employee - I don't think I am ready to reveal what exactly I do for a living yet - let's just say many people find it interesting and currently there seem to be a lot of TV shows based upon my profession - I may or may not talk about this in the future...Suffice to say I work your basic 9-5 M-F job.

Small Business Owner - as if I thought I didn't have enough going on in my life I also have my own "home based" party business - you know the ones where you invite a consultant into your home to sell stuff out of a beautifully designed catalog. So as not to go against any "rules" the company has I won't mention the name here but it is a stampin' company.

Dog Owner - We own a dog - which we named after our local college bar - Murph's. We got Murph from an ad in the local paper - $10 and she was ours - NOTE - never buy a dog for $10 from a local paper. The dog is allergic to GRASS - seriously grass...if it weren't for the fact she licks my kids clean and keeps squirrals out of my yard she would have been gone a long time ago

Home Owner - we own a home - in a very nice neighborhood - I can't say much about our home but our homeowners association...oh my....

Eclectic Soul - I am that - I don't really have a style - unless comfortable and cheap is a style...I like all sorts of movies and music...I have a wide variety of friends

Queen of Chaos - I am sooooo not intent to just sit back and let the world pass on by no matter how hard I try. I always seem to have 5-6 balls up in the air at anyone time - over the past few years since having my kids I have been better about letting some balls drop but not as many as my husband would like.

Just starting out...

Well - as with a bunch of my other friends I am taking the leap - the leap into blogging.

I am sure no one will read my blog for a long time because I don't plan on sharing it for a long time...I figure this will be a great way for me to talk about things I want to talk about but not bore my friends to tears...bore them so much they stop answering their phones when my name and number come up on their caller ID's...