Thursday, October 26, 2006
oh yes one did...this time it was in almost the exact same spot as the first time...luckly both my LEGS!!!!!! (nothing like being woken up by warm pee running down your legs....not somuch into bedroom watersports) and the towel I had put down previously caught the pee... so we stripped the bed yet once again (this makes the third time)
Back into the bathroom they went - Lovely Hubby went to the guest room to sleep and I curled up on my bare matteress with our last lone blanket curled up in the fetal position with a pillow over my head to drown out the yowling....
You know they could have peed anywhere else and I would have gotten upset but would have dealt with it - but F' with the most expensive thing (my 3K matteress & no I didn't actually pay that much for it but still....) I have ever bought for my home and some kitty ass is getting whooped!!!!!!
I told Lovely Hubby that last night was only second to the night he fell down the stairs and had to be taken to the trauma center at a hospital in the city via ambulance all the while while I am talking with the periamedics (who thought LH might have broken his neck) I get thrown up on by both my children because they both had the stomach flu...that was the worst night...last night is only second to that....and considering I survived the first year of motherhood of twins and we had some nasty nights...
So when I get home I have 3 more loads of comforters and sheets to do - I need to find someplace I can take my down comforter to be cleaned (I was planning on doing this anyway - the kitty pee just forces me to actually take action) and I will be going to Kohls to get a jumbo waterproof top sheet for my bed JUST IN CASE this ever happens again...or I am clumsy and spill my tea all over my bed
I am going to try changing thier cat litter to a different brand and see if that works - I know which kitty did it all too - it was Max....this morning he walked right by me and took a big dump in his litter box...but appearently he thinks it is perfectly acceptable to pee on my bed of all the f'n places....if he wants to pee on a bed why couldn't he have peed on the girls beds - at least they have plastic covered matteresses
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
We got 2 kittens about 5 months ago – a grey tabby and an orange tabby. Both have slowly become a part of our family. The orange one is my husband’s favorite – he curls up with him…he snuggles with him. The grey one is quite honestly one of the best cats I’ve ever owned – if you can get past the fact he likes to pee on Mermaid Barbie in our girls bathtub (who knows maybe Barbie really enjoys that type of water sport???) – he has our dog wrapped around his little paw – he will flop down in front of the dog and the dog will nuzzle it’s little belly…all he has to do is meow and the dog comes right to his side…I swear if they had the proper parts they would mate…In addition the grey one is perfect around the kids – he lets the girls do whatever they want to him – be it put him in a stroller and push him around…dress him up like the wolf dressed as Granny and play out the story of the Three Little Pigs…I do think one day he will crack if he hasn’t already – I can sort of see it in his eyes when the girls go to grab him – I can almost hear him saying to himself “They’re coming…go to the happy place…go to the happy place” – I may be the first person to own a cat with multiple personalities in a few years
Anyway we have found that the cats have the gastric equivalent of my husband…meaning they can clear a bathroom in under 2.7 seconds. Both my husband and I were discussing how such small creatures can make odors an such a grandiose scale. This got us into a discussion about air freshers – because I think I have tried just about everyone out there under $5…I remarked that they needed to have an air fresher scale…a scale made up of cat asses…have a small stink – use Febreeze with a one cat ass rating – a larger stink – move up to Glad plug-ins with a two Cat Ass rating….
I have yet to come across a GREAT freshener – one with say a Cat Ass rating of 5…because that is what I think I need…the closet thing I have come across is Bath and Body works room sprays…Cat Ass rating of 3.97
Thanks to http://www.nataliedee.com/
This morning I was helping TW put on some jeans…only problem was the jeans were a size 6X and well my daughter has no ass…so I told her she had a skinny butt and pulled out another pair of jeans from her drawer…her response
“When I am a mommy I’ll have a big butt just like you”
To think I couldn’t wait for the day she would utter her first word….
Friday, October 06, 2006
In front of us sat a mother and daughter - both wearing princess crowns with ears they were selling for $10 a pop... what made them unique among the crowd of mothers and daughters was the daughter looked to be about 14 ....
I can only hope and pray when my girls are teenagers they would still want to go see Disney Princesses on Ice with me...no matter what the cost.
Monday, October 02, 2006
See about a year and a half ago we were at a local park - this park is really a hidden gem - lots of green space, a kiddie petting park and a beautiful nature center that houses 2 otters (do you see where I am going) - on a previous trip they had a nature center specialist answering questions - one of the questions about the two otters was "Can they mate?" - the answer "Technically no" - the specialist explained that they were in fact two different species of otters but since one was male and one was female there parts did "cooperate" and they could "have fun". Some snickering from the adults in the crowd and lots of puzzled faces on the wee ones...
Well the next time we went we went to see the otters and they were awake and playing with each other in the water...then...OMG...what are those otters doing - and right up against the clear glass wall of all places...my daughters naturally curious asked "mommy what are the otters doing???" - trying to keep my cool as I tried to avert my eyes from the Otter porn that was playing out in front of me I simply said "Oh they are frolicking" - which elicited snickers from the other adults who also couldn't tear their eyes away from the scene as well...of course just as I said that the female otter manged to wrench herself out from underneath the male and left him with his Otter hard-on pressed up against the glass...Luckly, both girls had become engrossed in another exhibit so I didn't have to explain about Otter joysticks.
Fast forward to this past May and our trip to Seaworld...oh yes home to many a marine mammal...lots and lots of frolicking going on there...so the girls got the frolicking speech at the Manetee habitat, the dolphin habitat and my favorite one because much like the Otters...we got to see first hand penis up against glass...the Walrus habitat - actually the poor Walruses don't have mates - they have big plastic buoy things with holes in them for thier mating pleasures....
So appearently if you want to teach your kids about the birds and the bees - you don't need a book or a video...simply point them outdoors and show them what nature has to offer...