Yeah I know I have been gone…been in a rut with the end of summer/beginning of school – I will try my best to give the few of you who do partake and choose to read my blog a glimpse into my life a bit more often…
Ok does anyone know where I might purchase a Strap-on Vagina…
Because I am thinking that my vagina is the beacon in our house…
The “beacon” you say?
Yes the beacon that somehow radiates to my children that I am the only one that can seem to do anything for them…(I also believe it puts out a weird vibe that causes freaky foreign guys to hit on me in bars…but that could just be my big-ass badonkadonk).
DH to TW : Let me brush your hair
TW: No I want Momma to do it
DH to PWG: Let me tuck you into bed
PWG: No I want Momma to do it
DH to TW and PWG : Let’s do your homework
TW & PWG: We want Momma to help us
I am thinking if I can get a strap-on one for DH it might make my life a little easier because then maybe he would have a vagina beacon that would radiate that he can in fact brush hair, tuck the kids in and can do 1st grade math with ease.
GLIMPSE INTO MY LIFE
So I am driving on some god-forsaken errand and glance in my rear-view mirror and see TW and PWG stretched between their carseats mouths open and tongues touching.
ME: Um girls what are you doing
PWG: We're french kissing
in 15 years at a college bar that trick is going to get them a lot of free drinks...