Wednesday, September 26, 2007

ISO - Strap-on Vagina

Yeah I know I have been gone…been in a rut with the end of summer/beginning of school – I will try my best to give the few of you who do partake and choose to read my blog a glimpse into my life a bit more often…

Ok does anyone know where I might purchase a Strap-on Vagina…

Because I am thinking that my vagina is the beacon in our house…

The “beacon” you say?

Yes the beacon that somehow radiates to my children that I am the only one that can seem to do anything for them…(I also believe it puts out a weird vibe that causes freaky foreign guys to hit on me in bars…but that could just be my big-ass badonkadonk).

DH to TW : Let me brush your hair
TW: No I want Momma to do it

DH to PWG: Let me tuck you into bed
PWG: No I want Momma to do it

DH to TW and PWG
: Let’s do your homework
TW & PWG: We want Momma to help us

I am thinking if I can get a strap-on one for DH it might make my life a little easier because then maybe he would have a vagina beacon that would radiate that he can in fact brush hair, tuck the kids in and can do 1st grade math with ease.


GLIMPSE INTO MY LIFE

So I am driving on some god-forsaken errand and glance in my rear-view mirror and see TW and PWG stretched between their carseats mouths open and tongues touching.

ME: Um girls what are you doing
PWG: We're french kissing

in 15 years at a college bar that trick is going to get them a lot of free drinks...

2 comments:

Kathy said...

Omg, let mommy do it is the story of my life. My 8yo recently came to the realization that the 3 yo only speaks to me--if anyone talks to her she immediately gets attitude and tells them "ummm, I'M TALKING TO MOMMY!!!!!!!" He even said, "mommy, *m* doesn't talk to daddy, only you."

Anonymous said...

Do you really want to know? US$200.