Monday, October 01, 2007

Monkeys and Tampons - Oh My

The other day Third Child and I were either watching some show or listening to something on the radio - I am not really sure as my days go by in a blur…

Anyhoo – the point of what we heard was about MONKEYS

And how monkeys can be trained to do certain things…

Open the fridge and bring you a drink
Get a book from a shelf
Help you with your shopping
Insert a feeding tube

Now I DID NOT make that last one up…they seriously talked about how a MONKEY can be trained to insert a feeding tube…and since TC heard the same thing I did I know it wasn’t a fanatical musing of my brain (Hey wouldn’t it be cool if Monkeys could insert feeding tubes)

My question is what would possess someone to allow a MONKEY to insert a feeding tube… if I was medical personal that received specialized training in inserting feeding tubes I would be dumbfounded…

“What inserting feeding tubes…what’s so hard about that…it’s so easy a monkey can do it….”

So lately every conversation Third Child and I have had I have been trying to sneak in Monkeys

“Gee I can’t quite reach the top shelf …if we had a monkey he could get that down for me”

{sitting on couch} “Gee I would really like a cold beverage but I don’t want to get up…if we had a monkey I wouldn’t have to get up”

Then we had a conversation that went something like this

ME: I think it would be cool to have a monkey – it could grow old with us and when we were feeble it could insert our feeding tubes
TC: You know Monkeys throw their shit…
ME: You have monkey wear a diaper.
TC: If you were so feeble to need a monkey to insert a feeding tube who the hell would change the monkeys diapers?
ME: hummm good question

Almost as stupid as our Turtle conversation.

I did try to find out more information at I typed in “Monkeys inserting feeding tubes” into the search box and this is what I got

Narrow Your Search
Inserting Ivs
Inserting a Tampon
Girl Inserting a Tampon
Video of Women Inserting a Tampon
Inserting a Catheter
Insert a Tampon in My Daughter
Inserting Suppositories
Tampon Inserting Photographs
Tampon Inserting Stories

More »
Expand Your Search
Remove Feeding Tubes
Tube Feedings
Nasogastric Tubes
Vibrating Tampons

Now if someone can tell be what feeding tube inserting Monkeys have to do with tampons…I would be a strangely informed woman…

BTW I clicked on the last thing “Vibrating Tampons” and found THIS

from feeding tube inserting monkeys to vibrating tampons…

discuss amongst yourselves

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