Monday, August 07, 2006

Woo Woo - Conductor of the idiot train...

So this past weekend - while hubby was on his MANTASTIC weekend - I went into a cleaning mode...don't ask me what i ate...I don't know - if I did I would make sure I never ate it again.

So I began in my bedroom - I stripped the sheets and changed the bed. I gathered up all my laundry and put it in a basket - see I do my own clothes separately from everyone elses - after a few mishaps on hubby's part and me winding up with clothing that barely fit TW and PWG's Cabbage Patch Dolls (one of which now sports a fabulous $80 wool sweater) - I took matters into my own hands and do my own clothing separately - this allows me to wash my clothing on Cold with special Tide Coldwater detergent and tumble dry on low...so getting back to my story - I gather up all my clothes...all my nice summer T-shirts, all my shorts (that fit), 2 skirts, 3 lightweight sweaters and two pairs of pants...go downstairs and throw them in the washing machine.

I headed back upstairs and PWG helped me weed through the remaining shirts in my dresser...it was time - time I grew up and got rid of some of my T-shirts - my well loved T-shirts with holes and rips and stains...I did shed a tear when I put my beloved "You can always retake a class but you can never relive a party" T-shirt with dancing dead bears - but the time had come...I did however keep my "Co-Ed Naked Bar Hopping" T-shirt - so it has a small tear and a few holes...it has MEMORIES!!!!!

I did manage to pare down my T-shirt collection - some T-shirts were just to old, to stained, to 90's to continue to be in my collection...

then the washer buzzed and I trooped down to laundry room and threw everything in the dryer - set on low and away we go...

the next day I realized at about 5pm when I needed a pair of shorts all my clothes were still down in the dryer... So I grabbed a basket and started throwing my dry clothes in the basket - when everything was removed I looked in the dryer - all on the inside of the dryer was purple markings...I scratched my head and thought WTF is that...shrugged my shoulders and went upstairs

I get upstairs and look down at the basket of freshly washed clothes and notice a blue spot on my white shirt...WTF - pull it out - a bunch of blue spots...

OH F'N NO

Pulled out EVERY SINGLE SHIRT - alllllllll of then have some splotch of blue on them - and of course the splotches can't be by the hem or under the arm - oh no...because it is ME - they are all over the front of every shirt in my basket - my lightweight sweaters all ruined....I am frantcially searching for what made the mess...then I pull out my cute chocolate brown cargo pants - and there clipped to the side pocket is a blue gel pen...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shat!

Somehow...I don't know how...all my shorts and my skirt managed to escape being ruined by the ink...along with one lonely shirt...the shirt which happened to be my FAVORITE...

so I stand there at about 5pm looking at a pile of ruined clothes...all my comfy T-shirts...the T-shirts I love because they aren't tight...they go past the twin skin belly and hit me right at the right length...

Thankfully - hubbie had taken TW and PWG off my hands so I didn't kill them (earlier in the day we went to the mall to get First Day of School outfits - needless to say as we were leaving the store both of them had temper tantrum break-downs...if you have ever had the privilage of trying to remove one 5 year old from a public mall while she is flailing about - try it with two...it might change your mind about whalloping your kid on the butt...we were at the door and a very nice young man held the door for us...after which he muttered to himself "never forget condoms"...I am glad that my children are birth control for others...) so I ran to our local strip mall which happily had both a Lane Bryant and a Target - ran to LB and grabbed 3 basic T-shirts and then hit Target and got another shirt, a pair of shorts and a jean skirt...

While it is nice to buy new clothes...I just wish I hadn't boarded the idiot train on Saturday... I would have rather spent that $70 on something more fun....or frivilous....

2 comments:

Builder Mama said...

Jen, get thee to a store and get a few bottles of the Carbona Stain Devils for ink. I swear to God that those Stain Devils work. Saved me a whole load of white clothes when I washed AND dried them with a red lipstick in there. Yeah, it was a pain in the ass sitting there and going over every item of clothing, but I couldn't bear throwing anything away. It worked like a charm.

Of course, I didn't do dh's underwear since he was the idiot that put it in there, but I digress.

BratMom said...

I feel your pain. Hope something miraculous happens and the stains come out.