It takes all kinds of mothers...

It takes all kinds of mothers….

My cyber-gal Lotta recently posted about her hubbie working a lot of overtime and her displeasure of it…

She got a fairly nasty anonymous comment about it… basically about how she should be grateful that her husband has work and that she doesn’t have to throw her kids in a “toddler warehouse”

OH. MY. GAWD….

No she didn’t….

For many, many, many, many years there has been debate over SAHM and working MOM’s –

there is a segment of militant SAHM’s who feel that no mother should work and that they are doing a disservice to their children by putting their care during the day in the hands of another and that they are selfish in that they want to work instead of spending every waking minute with their children. That anyone who SAH should soak up the glory (such as it is) to SAH and worship their husbands who go to work so they can in turn stay home

There is a segment of militant WM’s who feel that SAHM are somehow wasting their time and energy – their education, their potential job skills to stay at home with their children.

I have met militants on both sides…

However I would dare to say that most MOM’s be they SAHM or WM could give a rip as to what other women do.

I for one am in absolute AWE of SAHM’s – part of me is jealous – not the fact that they have the opportunity to SAHM, but the fact that most of them make it look easy to deal with their kids all day. Meanwhile come Sunday evening I am at the end of my rope with my children and I have only spent the past 48 hours with them – not the past 168 hours…I am not cut from the SAHM cloth – I just am who I am and I’m OK with this…

It comes down to doing what is right for yourself and your family.

However, I do have a bone to pick…with the militant SAHM’s on two accounts…raising my child and working because you HAVE to work

I get frustrated when someone makes an off-handed comment basically stating a working mother is somehow less of a mother…that WM hand our children willy-nilly to another person to “raise” or throw them into a “toddler warehouse”. I had someone say to me once (not knowing I was a WM) “I don’t know why people have children just to hand them to someone else to raise” – WTF – I am raising my children thank you…hasn’t anyone ever heard the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child”. Look at the bush women in Africa – they pop a squat, have a baby and then go right back to work…they hand their children to elder women and go off to work – gathering food and twigs and stuff…hence “village raising a child”

And on the other front – I especially love the few militants who disagree with mothers working but put the cavet in “Oh but if they HAVE to it’s ok”…ummmm double standard anyone…

Now I have gotten in many a heated debate with militant SAHM…I am not a militant WM but it does piss me the hell off when people (any people) talk out of their ass without knowing all the facts…so yes I will debate the merits of WM from my vantage point to the end. But please…don’t tell me I am doing a disservice to my child by allowing them to go to a daycare…don’t tell me that my children will think I am a horrible mother because I didn’t wipe their ass every single time they took a dump from birth on…and last but not least – don’t give me that little stare and the disapproving “oh” when I tell you I work outside of the home.

It is a time honored debate…one that doesn’t have a right or a wrong…and won’t ever have an ending because we women are one catty bunch