Avoiding Death –Take 2

So yet another Multiples club outing and another chance for me to almost bite the big one…

Setting – Skateland

Now I must admit in my younger years I was a kickass rollerskater…I could even skate backwards…and with my pink roller skates with the white glitter pom-poms I was the ultimate of early 80’s hipness

However that was many many many many…did I say many years ago…

Last Saturday I took PWG and TW to the roller rink…paid the money and got my death on eight wheels…

Got the girls laced up and then it was my turn…just when I thought there was nothing nastier than rental bowling shoes I was shown otherwise…

Ok got them laced up and up on my feet and BAM on my ass…

Well crap

Yah know when you are a big gal it is a little hard to get yourself up off the floor…try it with 8 wheels attached to your feet and it is a site to behold…luckily I was close to the bench so I used that to pull myself up on…

Anyway it took some wobbly turns around the rink and things started coming back to me…like riding a bike…

And everything was all well and good until my little ones started hanging on me…that totally kills your sense of balance…which in turn caused me to go BAM in the middle of the Skateland floor…

Well crap

So I am looking around and find I am about 10 ft from the side of the rink…what else could I do – I start to crawl across the floor…you would think that a friend might be able to help me..no? Well R would have if she hadn’t been doubled over laughing & saying “I think I am going to pee myself” – meanwhile people are still zipping past me and I am praying no one gets too close to my hands with their wheels of death because well I like to use them for things…

So I get to the side and right myself…and tell TW and PWG if they think they are going to fall to abandon the SS Mommy so as not to take her down with them…and that worked…
For awhile

Until the time TW “forgot” to let go – unfortunately instead of falling backward on my cushion of an ass I went smack down to the front – right smack on my kneecap and elbow

Well crap

So I lie there for a second until the skate Nazi comes by and tells me “ummm madam you can’t just lie in the middle of the rink” – really…no shit Sherlock and freakin’ don’t call me madam..nevermind I realized he was all of about 14 years old…you know you are old when you look at a teenager and realize that you are in fact old enough to be their mother…without being pregnant in your teenage years yourself…

So I once again somehow get my body in an upright position and make it to the outside of the rink so I can examine my knee…no blood and I can move it – although currently it is a nice mottled shade of yellowish/green.

In the end I had fun – really I did…I would even think about going back. Humm I wonder if I can find a pair of pink skates with white glitter pom-poms?