Don’t worry this is not a post about Nookie time with my hubby…
No rather yesterday Toothless Wonder came home with a necklace…in the shape of a tooth…can you guess what was in that necklace…
YEP another tooth…for those counting at home that makes a total of SIX for TW.
So she got her little Tooth Fairy box and put her tooth in it and plowed it under her pillow…as she was drifting off to sleep she told me I could either call or e-mail the tooth fairy but not to forget to let her know…Ah the age of technology…e-mailing the tooth fairy.
SO Third Child and I look at each other and he said “You got some money?”
But of course…
You see the girls each have a piggy bank…TC and I help fill the banks with spare change every now and then but for the most part it is filled with money the girls get here and there.
So last night I needed 5 dimes…where did I go – straight to the piggy…
Nothing like sitting on your bed at 10 pm at night with your fingers shoved up a pigs hole…
The humorous thing about this is this morning after counting her money TW walked over and deposited it in the piggy bank…
One day she will find out I am the Tooth Fairy and that I gave her the same five dimes over and over and over and over again…
I guess that is why there are Therapists?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Big Hair Band are Pussies
So I bought myself an MP3 player – which in turn lead us getting our whole house outfitted for digital everything…cause I could not effectively download songs on the measly AOL dial-up we had…of course I just wanted to see about getting high speed internet – but I called Comcast…and well next thing you know a beefy young man was at my house diddling my plugs…(oh wait this my blog…not my letter to Penthouse)
OK so now we have Cable internet…which now after being able to download 100 songs in under 5 minutes I can never get rid of…plus the fact Third Child and I found soft porn available on the On Demand Cable…whoo hoo…nothing like seeing some Reno prostitutes get it on…well that and Noggin On Demand….what can I say it satisfies everyone in the house…
So I got my MP3 player and got a subscription to Rhapsody on the Go – which allows me to download playlists other people create into my MP3 player…I have enjoyed going back and reliving my high school life thru music…that is until the other day…
I downloaded a playlist called….Hair Bands of the 80’s….SCORE (or so I thought) – It had a total of 86 songs and I thought “man I will get my rock on”….after all – Warrant, Skid Row, Lita Ford, Kiss…and many others…well I discovered most are
PUSSIES….
Did every big hair 80’s band release a sappy love song or 5…WTF Van Halen and Skid Row I thought better of you and Mr. Big…sorry maybe you should be on the One Hit Wonder list…
Now I know not every song can be like Cherry Pie or Dr. Feelgood – but come on…surely you all have more rockin hits…every other songs is some sappy love song…and Sister Christian…why is that song on the playlist…
I guess I should have looked for the “Non pussy songs of 80’s Hair Bands”
I am however – really enjoying the “Class of ’93 and beyond” playlist….but my favorite…”Early 90’s High school” – a little classic MC, Criss Cross, Cypress Hill and of course a song I shook my ass to on the dance floor…a little Tag Team…
There's a party over here
OK so now we have Cable internet…which now after being able to download 100 songs in under 5 minutes I can never get rid of…plus the fact Third Child and I found soft porn available on the On Demand Cable…whoo hoo…nothing like seeing some Reno prostitutes get it on…well that and Noggin On Demand….what can I say it satisfies everyone in the house…
So I got my MP3 player and got a subscription to Rhapsody on the Go – which allows me to download playlists other people create into my MP3 player…I have enjoyed going back and reliving my high school life thru music…that is until the other day…
I downloaded a playlist called….Hair Bands of the 80’s….SCORE (or so I thought) – It had a total of 86 songs and I thought “man I will get my rock on”….after all – Warrant, Skid Row, Lita Ford, Kiss…and many others…well I discovered most are
PUSSIES….
Did every big hair 80’s band release a sappy love song or 5…WTF Van Halen and Skid Row I thought better of you and Mr. Big…sorry maybe you should be on the One Hit Wonder list…
Now I know not every song can be like Cherry Pie or Dr. Feelgood – but come on…surely you all have more rockin hits…every other songs is some sappy love song…and Sister Christian…why is that song on the playlist…
I guess I should have looked for the “Non pussy songs of 80’s Hair Bands”
I am however – really enjoying the “Class of ’93 and beyond” playlist….but my favorite…”Early 90’s High school” – a little classic MC, Criss Cross, Cypress Hill and of course a song I shook my ass to on the dance floor…a little Tag Team…
There's a party over here
a party over there
Wave your hands in the air
Shake your deriere
These three words when you're gettin' busy
Whoomp there it is
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Murph's Study Hall - the end of an era....
I was recently informed that my college bar – Murph’s Study Hall was sold…and there would no longer be a Murph’s
Everyone - please bow your heads for a moment of silence…
I have so many feelings about this – I know I know it is just a bar – but it played a very important role in my college years…
See Murph’s is your typical college bar…within easy walking distance of the campus, small, compact, dingy but so much freakin FUN…pool tables, beer for less than a buck and young {sometimes hot} college boys to make out with.
Being the person that I am I had a fake ID…so I was able to enjoy Mr. Murphy’s establishment pretty much since I arrived on campus…Oh back then it was even smaller and dingier – you had to be really friendly in the women’s room because it was a pair of swinging doors with two toilets…so if you didn’t know the person beside you when you walked in – you sure knew her when you walked out…
Between my Freshman and Sophomore years Mr. Murphy added on to his fine establishment – enlarging the women’s room (THANK YOU) and adding a whole back bar/dance area.
Oh how I loved Murphs…I spent the summer between my Sophomore and Junior year on campus taking summer classes and try as I might to find a job…I didn’t – it was the best summer ever – spent the mornings going to class and the afternoons and evenings usally biding time at Murphs…I got quite proficient in playing pool and I learned how to throw a mean set of darts (only occasionally did one wind up in the ceiling) . It was during this summer that Mr. Murphy realized my ID was well…not ME…but he let me in anyhow and started calling me Virginia (since that is where my ID was issued)…when campus got back into full swing that fall I still got into Murphs…he did look out for me and occasionally I got turned away with a “not tonight Virginia” when the Liquor Control Board was on the prowl…
Murphs gave me my best times…hanging out with my sorority sisters, drinking, laughing, gossiping…and one or two of my worst times {Sorry for puking behind the big screen TV…}…It was a place where relationships formed and relationships died…where rumors were started and lies confronted…it was a place of happy and of sad…I honestly think I cherish my diploma from Murphs more than the one from my college…While Murphs may be no more I still have my Murph's Study Hall T-shirt, a few commemorative St. Patty’s Day glasses and one itchy scratchy dog that Third Child and I named after our beloved college bar….
When I was a senior I was my senior class secretary – which isn’t want it sounds like – basically I was the keg girl during our senior class happy hours at Murphs…oh the power you weld when you control the flow of the beer…One Friday when I was setting up Mrs. Murphy came to me – in her hand she held a license…she asked me if I knew the person on the license – to my surprise it was one of my sorority sisters…turns out her license had been stuck in one of the women’s toilet for a few weeks – the toilet would get stopped up – they would plunge it and it would work again…over and over they did this for a few weeks before getting a plumber in…the problem – Kathy’s license…EWWWWW….the really EWWW part is she continued to use it after it had been fished out…I don’t know about you but I would not have TOUCHED anything that had been on the inside of bar toilet…much less put it in my wallet and lug around with me.
While Murphs holds a lot of fun times for me – it holds a few bittersweet ones as well…the one that sticks out most in my mind – doesn’t involve drinking or gossiping or even making out with a hot boy…during one of the Senior Class Happy Hours I spent an hour chatting with a friend – his name was Joe Podlucky – we had had some classes together and some mutual friends…we worked at the same mall and would occasionally stop by each others place of business to say Hi…that Friday evening in between dispensing beer for a quarter a cup to our fellow seniors we talked about graduating and where our lives were headed…how we were both scared yet excited to see what the future held…it was good conversation…on Monday I had to work – during a break I swung by his workplace but he wasn’t around…I thought to myself “I’ll catch up with him later”…that night he was shot and killed while in his car at another local bar…TO THIS DAY I have this picture of him sitting in the corner of the back bar…sipping on a beer and looking forward to what the future was going to hold for him…RIP Joe….
And to Murph’s thanks for the memories – I shall cherish them all…good, bad and downright ugly…
Everyone - please bow your heads for a moment of silence…
I have so many feelings about this – I know I know it is just a bar – but it played a very important role in my college years…
See Murph’s is your typical college bar…within easy walking distance of the campus, small, compact, dingy but so much freakin FUN…pool tables, beer for less than a buck and young {sometimes hot} college boys to make out with.
Being the person that I am I had a fake ID…so I was able to enjoy Mr. Murphy’s establishment pretty much since I arrived on campus…Oh back then it was even smaller and dingier – you had to be really friendly in the women’s room because it was a pair of swinging doors with two toilets…so if you didn’t know the person beside you when you walked in – you sure knew her when you walked out…
Between my Freshman and Sophomore years Mr. Murphy added on to his fine establishment – enlarging the women’s room (THANK YOU) and adding a whole back bar/dance area.
Oh how I loved Murphs…I spent the summer between my Sophomore and Junior year on campus taking summer classes and try as I might to find a job…I didn’t – it was the best summer ever – spent the mornings going to class and the afternoons and evenings usally biding time at Murphs…I got quite proficient in playing pool and I learned how to throw a mean set of darts (only occasionally did one wind up in the ceiling) . It was during this summer that Mr. Murphy realized my ID was well…not ME…but he let me in anyhow and started calling me Virginia (since that is where my ID was issued)…when campus got back into full swing that fall I still got into Murphs…he did look out for me and occasionally I got turned away with a “not tonight Virginia” when the Liquor Control Board was on the prowl…
Murphs gave me my best times…hanging out with my sorority sisters, drinking, laughing, gossiping…and one or two of my worst times {Sorry for puking behind the big screen TV…}…It was a place where relationships formed and relationships died…where rumors were started and lies confronted…it was a place of happy and of sad…I honestly think I cherish my diploma from Murphs more than the one from my college…While Murphs may be no more I still have my Murph's Study Hall T-shirt, a few commemorative St. Patty’s Day glasses and one itchy scratchy dog that Third Child and I named after our beloved college bar….
When I was a senior I was my senior class secretary – which isn’t want it sounds like – basically I was the keg girl during our senior class happy hours at Murphs…oh the power you weld when you control the flow of the beer…One Friday when I was setting up Mrs. Murphy came to me – in her hand she held a license…she asked me if I knew the person on the license – to my surprise it was one of my sorority sisters…turns out her license had been stuck in one of the women’s toilet for a few weeks – the toilet would get stopped up – they would plunge it and it would work again…over and over they did this for a few weeks before getting a plumber in…the problem – Kathy’s license…EWWWWW….the really EWWW part is she continued to use it after it had been fished out…I don’t know about you but I would not have TOUCHED anything that had been on the inside of bar toilet…much less put it in my wallet and lug around with me.
While Murphs holds a lot of fun times for me – it holds a few bittersweet ones as well…the one that sticks out most in my mind – doesn’t involve drinking or gossiping or even making out with a hot boy…during one of the Senior Class Happy Hours I spent an hour chatting with a friend – his name was Joe Podlucky – we had had some classes together and some mutual friends…we worked at the same mall and would occasionally stop by each others place of business to say Hi…that Friday evening in between dispensing beer for a quarter a cup to our fellow seniors we talked about graduating and where our lives were headed…how we were both scared yet excited to see what the future held…it was good conversation…on Monday I had to work – during a break I swung by his workplace but he wasn’t around…I thought to myself “I’ll catch up with him later”…that night he was shot and killed while in his car at another local bar…TO THIS DAY I have this picture of him sitting in the corner of the back bar…sipping on a beer and looking forward to what the future was going to hold for him…RIP Joe….
And to Murph’s thanks for the memories – I shall cherish them all…good, bad and downright ugly…
Monday, May 21, 2007
And the Bad Mother of the Year award goes to...
ME…
I was recently in a CD swap – which forced me to learn how to work my Windows Media and upload my old CDS onto my computer…
So I made a mixed CD – my first – GO ME…
And then I let my kids listen to some of it in the car…most of it is fairly tame…I mean The Remedy, Margaritaville, You’re my Inspiration…how can that be bad for a bunch of 6 year olds…
Well there are a few ones that just aren’t appropriate for 6 year olds…but did I listen to my inner nag of a mother…nope…
So I let them listen to Baby Got Back…complete with the beginning…
So I thought it wasn’t a big deal – we had a discussion about how they can only sing along to the song when they were in the car with mommy…
Yesterday Third Child got treated to this by TW - VERBATIM…
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. She looks like,one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?I mean, her butt, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean - gross. Look!
I dare say Third Child almost choked on his coffee…and then gave me a glaring look…then PWG just had to sing her daddy the other song they recently learned…by the Divine Ms. M
I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!
I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!
Darn you girls we had a good thing going…I could listen to music I liked – you could go into total dancing spasms in your boosters to Baby Got Back…
But now…back to APPROPRIATE MUSIC (where is that Ricky Martin CD???)…
Cause the last thing I want is a call from the Principal saying “Ummm we have a little problem here…”
I was recently in a CD swap – which forced me to learn how to work my Windows Media and upload my old CDS onto my computer…
So I made a mixed CD – my first – GO ME…
And then I let my kids listen to some of it in the car…most of it is fairly tame…I mean The Remedy, Margaritaville, You’re my Inspiration…how can that be bad for a bunch of 6 year olds…
Well there are a few ones that just aren’t appropriate for 6 year olds…but did I listen to my inner nag of a mother…nope…
So I let them listen to Baby Got Back…complete with the beginning…
So I thought it wasn’t a big deal – we had a discussion about how they can only sing along to the song when they were in the car with mommy…
Yesterday Third Child got treated to this by TW - VERBATIM…
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. She looks like,one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?I mean, her butt, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean - gross. Look!
I dare say Third Child almost choked on his coffee…and then gave me a glaring look…then PWG just had to sing her daddy the other song they recently learned…by the Divine Ms. M
I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!
I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, dammit!
Darn you girls we had a good thing going…I could listen to music I liked – you could go into total dancing spasms in your boosters to Baby Got Back…
But now…back to APPROPRIATE MUSIC (where is that Ricky Martin CD???)…
Cause the last thing I want is a call from the Principal saying “Ummm we have a little problem here…”
Thursday, May 17, 2007
I'm BACK - did ya miss me....
Yeah yeah yeah - I know the last time I posted was last month...but the only thing ruling my house now-a-days is chaos...
you think I am kidding...in the last 24 hours this has been my life
you think I am kidding...in the last 24 hours this has been my life
- Threw my back out - made emergency Chiropractic appointment
- While on the way to the appointment with Third Child in tow various lights (parking brake, ABS, battery, etc...) begin going on and off - this is the same minivan we spent $1200 (yes $1200) on last week - we brush it off as a loose wire and say "Oh we'll take it in tomorrow and get it looked at...
- Finish appointment go to car - won't start
- Find sketchy looking dude in parking lot to give us a jump
- Make plans...Third child drops me off at home for me to get 2nd car - pick up the girls and meet him at Goodyear to dump the van...WE WILL NOT TURN OFF THE CAR
- Realize plan won't work when car makes weird noise and ups and dies while sitting at a red light
- Realize that 3 Sheriff officers conversing in the parking lot of the 7-11 across the street could give a flying fig about us and get in their cars and drive off in different directions
- Call Insurance company because we have towing through them...explain to the lady FOUR times I do not live in PA...(apparently she got me confused with her previous call)
- Find out we have nice neighbors when one of them stops to help Third child move car to side of the road while wifey drives me to my house (While TC was waiting for the tow truck 4 other neighbors stop to see if he needs help...I LOVE my neighbors)
- Get to daycare to find them feeding my children dinner (Got to love the hospitality of those Southern Baptists)
- Go to Goodyear to pick up Third Child after he has been deposited there by the tow truck driver...
- Get home to find a nice letter from the IRS stating we OWE $3300...apparently of allllll the things I could have screwed up on my taxes I somehow typed in BOTH of the girls SS # wrong...call and amazingly talk to a very nice man who gets everything straightened out (or at least I hope so...) - but we know know how much our children are really worth to us in the eyes of the federal govenment - $3300....
- Go to slather Biofreeze on my back only to find the power of it has somewhat dissipated and all I am left with is a gooey substance on my back....
- Toss and turn all night trying to find a position where I feel comfortable and it doesn't feel like 101 gnomes are stabbing me in the back with tiny pitchforks
- Get a call from the school nurse who informs me that TW has somehow fallen on a game box and "hurt her privates" and upon looking in her underwear spots some blood...tell nurse it is ok if she takes a closer look and talk to TW on the phone and tell her it is OK for the nurse to touch her privates....
All of this since 11am yesterday morning....
OK be on the lookout - I am going to try my best to blog at least 3 x's per week... so the 4 of you that read my blog will have something to look forward too...
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