More of what Jenni Needs....

In order to attract the woman of her erotic dreams, Jenni needs to learn to be more alluring.

Hummm the woman of my erotic dreams....somehow I don't think I am that Jenni

jenni (needs a drink and a vacation!!)

DAMN RIGHT!

If you feel that Jenni meets your needs, we can provide you with a test implementation of Jenni so that you can try out an ideas

Dude...what sort of needs need to be met...

Jenni needs to coordinate with Laura

maybe she is the woman of my erotic dreams?????

Jenni needs her toenails trimmed

Yeah- OK possibily

Jenni needs to go upstairs and change soon,

for the woman of my erotic dreams???

Jenni needs help from someone with MYOB experience

huh...MYOB?

Jenni needs coffee

of course...I don't need to be told this....

Jenni needs to get a life

gee thanks a lot....

Jenni needs to be there to liven it up and to be Miss Cheeky

does this go hand and hand with get a life...as far as being Miss Cheeky...there is a time and place for that...and that is called College....

Jenni needs applications

for what....are people applying to be the woman of my erotic dreams?

Jenni needs a video blog

not a wide lens big enough to fit my arse in the picture

jenni! you def. need to vamp up your page a little

Ok - don't be so antsy....

hey jenni! you need to update your shit. who else is going to entertain me!

Gotcha...I'll try and do better....


NOW - it is your turn...

• Go to Google
• Type in "your name" + "needs" (without " ")
• See what YOU need :)

Everyone Needs A Jenni !!!

So...I was playing the Google game of NEEDS...you know you type in your name + needs and see what comes up...and found this...

Apparently everyone needs one of ME :)

Which one of these things just doesn't belong...

Friday Night
11 p.m.
Me
Red-neck Bar
A Band named Monkeyfist
Mullets
Bad Dye Jobs
Hefty women in spandex


So on Friday I get a call from my friend Ro…she asks me what I am doing that evening…

Let’s see I am a mommy…so nothing…

She asks me if I want to go to a bar and see her husband’s band – Monkeyfist – play…

You see it was playing at a little place in my town called the Midway Lounge…don’t let the exciting name fool you…it is a honkey-tonk Good Ol’ Boy Redneck Bar…and not the cool kind you would find Toby Keith in…

I said sure why not…

I then had to call her back and tell her I didn’t have any stretch Gold Lame and didn’t know if I would fit it – she mentioned something about wearing her “fuck me” boots and then lamented on the fact it had been so long since she had worn them she wasn’t sure where they were and quite possibly the dog could have eaten them…

Anyway on Friday night we did end up at a bar called the Midway Lounge…where it cost us $10 cover…but the drinks were $1…I remarked that if my college bar had gone the same route I probably would have been very acquainted with the 12 steps by now…

When we got to the bar it was about 10pm and the band was between sets…this gave us ample time to take a look around…OMG….

Now I have been in some bars in my lifetime but this one was very interesting to say the least…

RO and I felt a little out of place being that neither of us has a mullet, bleach blonde hair or the smell of desperation surrounding us….

The mullets were running rampant…I guess these guys don’t know that even Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t have his mullet anymore (and I know this because my daughters have just discovered Hannah Montana and I have become reacquainted with Mr. Billy Ray).

And the bleach blondes – OMG – this morning one of my co-workers asked if the bleachies also included the bad frizzy perms…OF COURSE – complete with the half pulled back on-top-of-your-head scrunchie ponytail…whip that top pony around…

Of course you can’t have a Redneck bar without bar sluts…and you know they do come in two varieties…the really skinny ones with spandex tops and jeans that look to be painted on …and the really “fluffy” ones with the spandex tops and the jeans that look painted on…my eyes were assaulted by many a fashion disaster…

And then in the air was the smell of desperation…it was mainly coming from the table next to us that housed 1 couple and 3 to 4 homely looking 30 somethings….30 somethings that were in desperate need of some makeovers – now I know that I don’t always make the best fashion choices but I had to agree with Ro when she exclaimed “Damn I’m a hot chick up in this place” - then again with $1 drinks guess you don't have to look to good...them beer googles make everything look a little better...

Monkeyfist was very good – I enjoyed the music – lots of 90’s rock with a few current hits thrown in…so good music, $1 drinks (with a designated driver), spending some time with a good friend and discovering there is at least one bar in town where I look pretty damn good…- the evening was pretty good…

Hitting the Motherload

It all started last week…

On Tuesday night we walked into the house to a sound that I can only describe as 100 cicadas mating furiously in our living room…the noise was high pitch and deafening….

Third Child and I are looking and looking trying to pinpoint where the noise was coming from…finally we decided it must be coming from our TV or the cable box…

So we unplug everything and the noise stops…TC plugs the TV in and BAM…the noise is back…

Sniffle Sniffle the TV is dead…but inside I was rejoicing…our TV had been having “issues” so I had been researching HDTV’s…so I looked at TC and said “after dinner we go buy a new TV”

I knew exactly the one we wanted and off we went…first we went to Sears and talked with a very nice man about the TV we wanted to buy…but alas they didn’t have any in stock and it could take up to a week to get it…so we were forced to go to Circuit City…

I HATE Circuit City with a passion – the sales people are idiots…they fired all their good sale associates because they made to much money and hired teenagers who don’t even know the basics…heck read the friggin Circuit City website and acquire some knowledge on the things you freakin sell…the last time I went to CC was to purchase an MP3 player – so this couple and I are over looking at the MP3 players – at this point I am not an expert but I did do a little research about the various brands and models – Couple asks the sales associate a basic question…sales associate says “I dunno” – so I jump in and gave the couple a basic run down of MP3 players and the pros and cons of various models…all information I got from the friggin Circuit City website…after asking the sales associate a few more questions the couple and I looked at one another and I said “well I am heading over to Best Buy maybe they know something other than ‘I dunno’” – so couple and I trooped out of CC and across the street to Best Buy – where we both made purchases…

Anyway the particular TV I wanted Best Buy does not carry so I was stuck with Circuit City…so after Sears we go to Circuit City – and wait and wait and wait – TC and I are walking up and down the isle of the TV’s trying to make eye contact with the sales associates – twice we were told “Be with ya in a minute”…yeah – so 10 minutes later I finally troop over the checkout and ask if they had the particular TV I was looking for in stock because according to their website they did and I would like to purchase it…Apparently the cashiers had arrived to work on the short bus…because I got blank stares – so finally one poor person took pity on me and found me a sales associate – I made the purchase and away we went…

So we get home and realize that our new TV will not fit in our TV cabinet – cabinet 31” wide…TV 31.4 “ wide – so I look at TC and said “cut the MF’er down” – which he did and very nicely I might add the next day.

So Wed night TC and I unpack the TV and put it on our newly remodeled TV cabinet and then we get stuck – apparently our digital cable box is for old decrepit TV’s and we have a new HDTV and much like Cats and Dogs they aren’t going to mate…I finally succumb to plugging the cable right into the TV – at least we would get some basic TV for now…So DH and I are watching TV and we had the following conversation which will factor into this increasingly long story…

TV shows commercial of new Fall Show Journeyman

Me: - What a farce – it sounds like Quantum Leap

TC: But it is different than Quantum Leap

Me; Really - no shit (of course said sarcastically) – Quantum Leap was da’ bomb and Scott Backula was quite delicious – like a fluffy stud muffin.

TC: I am sure you can still see Quantum Leap – maybe it is on the Sci-Fi channel

Me: That would force me actually look for it – rather than it just being there. Ya know if they are redoing Bionic Woman they could redo Quantum Leap – I would be all over that.


So on Thursday I call our cable company and lo and behold they actually have an appointment time for 7am-9am the next morning to deliver and set up an HD box…Well sign me up – then the rep asks a question “Do you want DVR” – hummmmm DVR – “How much more a month would it be?” - $7….well go ahead and sign me up.

Friday morning the cable guy arrives (at 9am of course) and installs my new HD/DVR cable box…joy…

I don’t get a chance to play around with said DVR and cable box until Saturday night and even then I just read the directions on how to record a program – so I figured I would give it a whirl and find some Kim Possible episode at 12:30am to record (for the kiddos)

Sunday morning said kiddos are driving me bonkers so I decide to let them watch TV and remember I recorded a Kim Possible episode…so let’s try that DVR out –

Click on My DVR and notice on the first page there seems to be more stuff then just Kim Possible…and my DVR says 42% full…obviously I got a well used unit…so I am looking 20/20…My Name is Earl…Primetime – ok stuff I can delete…then I page down…OMG…what is that QUANTUM LEAP episode…no freakin way…page down again

QUANTUM LEAP
QUANTUM LEAP
QUANTUM LEAP
QUANTUM LEAP
QUANTUM LEAP
QUANTUM LEAP

And page down again and again….all QUANTUM LEAP’s

I counted about 20 in all…

Sweet mother of DVR…

I feel like I won the DVR lottery…

Thank you O’ TV Gods for putting my old TV out of it’s misery…

Ummmm Scott Backula in his prime – snarf snarf snarf….

Poppin' my TAG cherry...

Well Jimmi tagged me...

So Here Goes...

Here's what I have to do for this tagging game:

1) I must post 7 random things about me:-

• I love the smell of Honeysuckle and I am very glad Bath and Bodyworks now has this scent


• I am a Bag-a-holic...or a Bag-ho if you must - I can't resist a cute bag...especially if it comes FREE or pretty cheap with purchase...Damn that Bath and Body Works and thier cute bags


• I am a coupon fanatic and refuse to pay full price for anything


• I am a Jello-sucking CHAMPION....


• My baby sister is a Lieutenant in the Coast Guard and teaches at USCGA


• I am very ecclectic in my music tastes - from Toby Keith to Metallica to Bette Midler to Panic at the Disco to Live to Neil Diamond...however I can't stand Jazz or most classical music...


• I have a *slight* gnome problem...come-on 14 garden gnomes isn't that many is it?

2) Tag 7 other bloggers :-ok like Jimmi I can only think of 6 right now



Gretchen - http://swiperbootsdora.blogspot.com/

Liz - http://www.buildermama.blogspot.com/

Erica - http://singlemomfindingherself.blogspot.com/

Heather - http://mamamaven.blogspot.com/

Louisa - http://mrswheezer.blogspot.com/

Stephanie - http://jhawker-fan.blogspot.com/



3) Post Rules & the bloggers I tagged here.



4) Leave tagged bloggers comments on their web sites so that they know they have been tagged

Of Honeymoons and Mr. Happy's

Yeah yeah yeah - I know it has been awhile since I last blogged…but I got to go on a vaction with Third Child WITHOUT PWG and TW….ohhhhh can we say Heaven…I’ll probably Blog about that later….

First off…ERICA made me cry…she gave me

Thanks sweetie….you ROCK to…I love you like a little gnome…

Secondly I bet you are wondering what the title of my this post refers to…

I have really only truly won two things in my life…why I continue to play the lottery is beyond me…I guess I like throwing away $2 a week…

Anyway when planning my wedding I bought all the requisite Bridal magazines…ALL of them…Do you freakin know how much a stack of Bridal magazines weigh...More than I do now…anyway I filled out any contest I could find in those magazines…

Win a Free Reception (*up to 10K – ha ha ha guess everyone will be eating tiny wieners on a stick)…Win a Designer Dress (Butt-ugly…just because you are a designer doesn’t mean you can’t have a bad day…) and lastly Win a Honeymoon – oh let’s just say that seemed to have the most contests (BTW – Brides to be - don’t bother filling out any contests for Sandals Resort, because everyone wins…a tape of what you can do at Sandals)

So I filled them out, mailed them in and forgot about them…until the day I got a registered letter…a registered letter stating that I had WON…yes little ole me had WON a honeymoon…I won a contest that was sponsored by Brides magazine and Wyndham resorts – my prize package included my choice of a weeks stay at one of 7 different Wyndham Resorts in the Caribbean including air fare and also for some reason a set of monogrammed white towels…

Third Child and I choose St. Lucia because we had never heard of it…turns out we knew why we had never heard of it – it is filled with Europeans…I don’t have an issue with Europeans, but I do have an issue with the teeny, tiny speedos all the fat Europeans seem to wear…everywhere I turned there was a banana hammock – and a banana hammock on a 300+ lb dude is NOT a pretty site…and there seemed to be a lot of 300+ lb European dudes that week…

Anyway – so for the longest time that was really the only thing in my life I had ever WON…until recently….

I recently won THIS - thanks to LOTTA ...and of course NIKKI

I was surprised I was choosen…and it was very interesting to explain to Third Child that I had won something and what exactly I had won…

Anyway – while we were on vacation it was sent…I went to the post office to pick up my mail that had been held…as I was digging down in the Postal box I felt something big and round…hummmm – so I grabbed the package and brought it from the depths of the box…

It had been opened…not fully opened as Mr. Happy was still in a sealed plastic bag…but the envelope had popped open and anyone who has a pair of eyes could see what laid in the bag…so now my postman (I live in a fairly small town) knows I get freaky…and with what I get freaky…(*note to self – pick up a big hat, sunglasses and a scarf for the incognito look when going to the Post office)

Anyway I got home and showed it to Third Child…he was quite impressed with it…and had a gleam in his eye…all I will say is that I can’t review it until I try it…so it might be awhile…

Anyway one thing I did find interesting is that it had a warning sheet with it…and one of the warnings stated “Do not use it on any unexplained calf pain” – hummm yes because if I have unexplained calf pain the first thing I would do is grab Mr. Happy and let him buzz away….