Which one of these things just doesn't belong...

Friday Night
11 p.m.
Me
Red-neck Bar
A Band named Monkeyfist
Mullets
Bad Dye Jobs
Hefty women in spandex


So on Friday I get a call from my friend Ro…she asks me what I am doing that evening…

Let’s see I am a mommy…so nothing…

She asks me if I want to go to a bar and see her husband’s band – Monkeyfist – play…

You see it was playing at a little place in my town called the Midway Lounge…don’t let the exciting name fool you…it is a honkey-tonk Good Ol’ Boy Redneck Bar…and not the cool kind you would find Toby Keith in…

I said sure why not…

I then had to call her back and tell her I didn’t have any stretch Gold Lame and didn’t know if I would fit it – she mentioned something about wearing her “fuck me” boots and then lamented on the fact it had been so long since she had worn them she wasn’t sure where they were and quite possibly the dog could have eaten them…

Anyway on Friday night we did end up at a bar called the Midway Lounge…where it cost us $10 cover…but the drinks were $1…I remarked that if my college bar had gone the same route I probably would have been very acquainted with the 12 steps by now…

When we got to the bar it was about 10pm and the band was between sets…this gave us ample time to take a look around…OMG….

Now I have been in some bars in my lifetime but this one was very interesting to say the least…

RO and I felt a little out of place being that neither of us has a mullet, bleach blonde hair or the smell of desperation surrounding us….

The mullets were running rampant…I guess these guys don’t know that even Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t have his mullet anymore (and I know this because my daughters have just discovered Hannah Montana and I have become reacquainted with Mr. Billy Ray).

And the bleach blondes – OMG – this morning one of my co-workers asked if the bleachies also included the bad frizzy perms…OF COURSE – complete with the half pulled back on-top-of-your-head scrunchie ponytail…whip that top pony around…

Of course you can’t have a Redneck bar without bar sluts…and you know they do come in two varieties…the really skinny ones with spandex tops and jeans that look to be painted on …and the really “fluffy” ones with the spandex tops and the jeans that look painted on…my eyes were assaulted by many a fashion disaster…

And then in the air was the smell of desperation…it was mainly coming from the table next to us that housed 1 couple and 3 to 4 homely looking 30 somethings….30 somethings that were in desperate need of some makeovers – now I know that I don’t always make the best fashion choices but I had to agree with Ro when she exclaimed “Damn I’m a hot chick up in this place” - then again with $1 drinks guess you don't have to look to good...them beer googles make everything look a little better...

Monkeyfist was very good – I enjoyed the music – lots of 90’s rock with a few current hits thrown in…so good music, $1 drinks (with a designated driver), spending some time with a good friend and discovering there is at least one bar in town where I look pretty damn good…- the evening was pretty good…